HaFieZ IsMaiL

Another Loss

2010-01-22T18:05:00.007+08:00

Seconds ticked by, hours streamed by and days flew by rapidly. In a blink of an eye, I have already served my nation 134 days exactly!

Apart - in between of the 134 days, I loss another elder cousin who was extremely close to me on whom was from my dad's side. Still remember the days when I was 15 when I was regularly sent out of my parents' house by my temperamental dad, he was the one who asked me to come over and stay at his house and bringing me up to be an independent, as well as teaching me to be a responsible young man for my wrongdoings. Ever since, he had been my brother, father and uncle.

His departure on 24th October 2009 (on my dad's Birthday) really sadden me, even up till now. Still clear in my mind the day before - on the 23rd, as I had just finished my training and was just about to book out, I happened to look at my mobile phone and saw many missed calls. Later was informed by my mum, my cousin had met with a minor accident the day before and he was in ICU at that point of time.

Hearing that, I straight away machiam like Commando, flew down the fleet of stairs and requested to the COS for early released. Luckily Sergeant Wen Fong was kind enough to make the effort to consult OC regarding my request and soon, I was off from Pulau Tekong and heading to NUH located in mainland.

Few hours after my arrival at NUH, I managed to catch a glimpse of my late cousin's look. He seemed to be sleeping. Later, I had a shocked of my life. I overheard the Doctor saying to my aunt (my cousin's wife) that my cousin's condition was critical. His life was at stake and there is high probability he won't be able to make it. Upon hearing that, my heart sunk and I said prayers till the wee hours of the morning - where my cousin passed away at about 4 in the morning.

Right after, I cried uncontrollably. Tears after tears rolled down my cheek like a natural made waterfall. The thought of him leaving behind his wife as well as his 3 young kids aging 11, 7 and 6 made me feel extremely sad. The words which he once said to me still lingers in my mind. Few weeks before his death he told me how he really wanted to see his children grow up and having succeed in their studies and life.

Thus, in order for his dreams and wishes to come true, I always try my best to make myself free to teach his kids (my nephew & nieces) in their curricular subjects whenever I book out from camp. Apart, I will consistently remind them to study hard for their late dad's dreams, as well as the fact that if they study well, they will not only have a good life ahead abut also they will be able to support their mum when they grow up. Other than these, I sometimes brought them to visit their dad's graves and also call them to ask on their well-beings whenever my training ends early.

May my cousin's - Allahyarham Mohd Rasid Bin Hj. Madsah soul be placed in heaven. Al Fateha.

Successful Missions

2009-08-18T03:44:00.000+08:00

Woahh! Just realized my Blog had not been updated for quite a while. All thanks to my busy nature.

Anyway, for the past few weeks - or should we just say the past month, I have been extremely busy meeting and going out with families and friends. Apart these, I have been making use of my time to help some of them too, as well as catching up time with them before going off to serve my National Service in TEKONG on September 11 2009!

Thus, to those of you who have been wondering what have I been up to recently, these are some of the things which I had done on the respective people during these long period of me being MIA..

01) Composing a new song of my own.. By the way, if you want to hear it, just click on the "PLAY" button at "My Music Composition" located at the right hand side of my Blog.. Warning! My voice doesn't sound nice.. Listen at YOUR OWN RISK!

02) Swimming, Gym-ing and Jogging with my good friend (Stanley) at Rafflesia.. I training for Army mah..

03) Doing minor recording with my cousin (Irfan)

04) Helping my cousin (Abg Ajiq) to reformat his desktop

05) Helping my cousin (Shierra) to repair her laptop's softwares

06) Learning how to shop in the market from my uncle (Papa).. LOL! I preparing to be a good husband in the future.. Haha!

07) Follow my uncle (Papa) and auntie (Mama) to the cemetery of my favourite cousin who passed away recently.. Very sad sia but at least feel happy that he is now somewhere near to god :)

08) Visiting my cousin (Abg Rasid) who was hospitalized, everyday for about 3 days.. Saw a quite a few number of good looking Doctors, Dietitians and Nurses! xP

09) Sending & fetching both of my nephew (Faiz) and niece (Hidayah) to and from their school for 14 days.. This one the hardest mission.. Need to take care of their safety, welfare and so on.. It's fun of course as I can experience how is it like to be a father - if I have any in the future..

10) Buying a new pair of spectacles which is to be used during Army.. Cheap cheap one lar.. $75 only.. Oh ya, I haven't taken a picture of me wearing it yet.. LoL!

11) Accompanying my grandma (Nenek) to buy some prayers things at the new launched shopping complex at Geylang Serai.. Wah seh.. A lot of people there sia.. By the way, PLEASE remember not to buy any food from #02-123 if any of you happen to go there.. The owner's customer service sucks and her food is just so NOT NICE!

As it could be seen, these are some of the reasons to why I have not been online for the past few weeks or so. Once again, I apologized to those who had asked me out during the period when I was busy with the things above. I do appreciate that all of you remember and make the least effort to ask me along for outings, gatherings and so on but I really could not attend any of them. My sincere apologies.

Lastly, I will try to make up for the time which I have missed during those planned activities - for each one of you soon, since I have not much things to be done at current except for my daily training and preparation for TEKONG! Thanks again for your understanding! Best regards and have a nice day ahead :)

Near death experience!

2009-07-05T21:57:00.004+08:00

Since I was young, my parents especially - my dad had always reminded me to stay alert and to take good care of myself about a week before and after my Birthday. The reason being, he said that this is when the soul and life of someone who is having the Birthday on that particular moment, will most probably face death. Honestly, being a modern type of person, I never believe in such superstitious things until recently.

To think about it, there are few incidents which I had experienced before and after my 20th Birthday that was just over recently (on 30th June) on which could be regard as a form of life and death threatening situation or at least, something which had caused me some injury too. For the incidents which had happened before my 20th Birthday, please refer to the post written on Saturday, June 27, 2009 at paragraph 5 and paragraph 7 respectively.

In contrast, the incident which had happened after my 20th Birthday took place just now at about 2.40 in the afternoon. Before I tell you in details on what had happened, I would like to say some other things first.

Likewise some of you would have known - every Sunday is usually the time when me and one of my best friend, Nelson swim together. Normally we clocked a distance of at least 10 laps (500m). Sometimes when we are not rushing for time, we will clock 12 laps (600m), 14 laps (700m) and even 16 laps (800m). But for today, my intention of wanting to swim 16 laps could not be achieve as a result of a chain of events which I am going to share now.

To start with, Nelson and I went to the pool at about 2 in the afternoon just now. Upon reaching there, we were astonished to see the pool which was normally crowded with people in the past weeks seems like having no people at all. Not wanting to waste any time, I told him to warm up at the deep pool instead of the medium pool where we normally did for at least half an hour before our actual swimming missions - as mentioned above.

Right after, I went to the deep pool where we swam for short distance as a form of warm up. Soon, we did some threading to ensure that all of our leg muscles are fully warmed up. At that point of time, everything seems well. No problem at all and whatsoever. Then, that's when I tell Nelson that I want to start our swimming missions by swimming at middle lane of the deep pool since the side lane was filled with kids who was having swimming lessons.

As a result, we proceed to lane 4 and 5 which is located right in the middle of the 7 lanes pool, respectively. Anyway, I took lane 4 while Nelson took lane 5. Soon after, we are off to our 16 laps swimming routine. During the first lap, everything went well for me. I did not experience anything at such. Thus, I made a U-turn to proceed on to make my second lap so as to be able to complete our 16 laps which we have set for each one of us to achieve for today.

Suddenly, while I was on my 70m to 75m (1.5 laps) mark of swimming, and while I was in the very utmost middle of the pool, I felt a super sharp freaking pain on my heart. Few seconds after that, I remember myself not being able to remember clearly what happened. The possibility of me getting a black out is the most likely thing that had happened to me right after. This is because after feeling the sharp pain at my heart, I remember finding myself submerged in the pool already and having my mouth filled with water.

Trying to stay macho and calm, I tried to swim up to the surface immediately in order to get over control of this misfortune situation. I even tried threading to make myself stay afloat. I succeeded for a while but soon after, to my horror, I felt my leg was being paralyzed and numbed.

Feeling desperate for air, I use my hand only to pull myself up to the surface as my leg was no longer in function at that point of time. Damn! I felt so heavy even though I'm just 45kg! In addition, to be honest, the energy I used to pull myself up to the surface is much more tiring than that when I carry heavy weights during my weight training!

Anyway, seconds later, my hand felt damn weak and I have no more energy to complete the remaining 25m. I was totally drained as a result of the sudden heart attack, the sudden leg paralyze and the sudden energy used of my arm power in order to pull myself back up to the surface for air.

That was when I used my last might to push myself up in order to stay afloat. I also remembered summoning some strengths so to as to be able to shout for help. At that point of time, I know that I am doomed. I know I can't do anything as I am totally drained and I am sinking rapidly underneath the pool. During this period, I had a flashback. At last I know that this has been the horrific accident which I have always dream about since my secondary school years. So, this is the way on how I am fated to die.

To be honest, I even said my death prayers (in malay, we call it as mengucap dua kalimah syahadah) deep inside my heart since I know my time is up already. Suddenly, while still sinking, I heard a rapid flow of water movement. It seems that someone was swimming towards me in high speed. True enough! A swimming coach or also more prominent to be called as a lifeguard swam towards me. I felt like he lifted me up and heard he told me in fainted voice, "Don't panic. Don't panic. Put your hand behind me".

No joke people! I was too weak to even raise any of my head, hands or legs. But what I feel is this. As he brought me up to the surface of the pool, he pushed my neck backwards to his shoulder. That was when lots and lots of water gushed out from my mouth. It is like, I am vomiting plain water out continuously. Then, I was brought to side of the pool where I was told to rest.

There, I vomitted the water out even more and I was shaken for a good fiften minutes. After feeling much better, I thank that hero and my life saviour him for saving my life. Honestly, I know that thanking him is not good enough. Thus, I am planning to meet him next Saturday at the pool and I will give him something as a token of appreciation for saving my life.

As for my part, I will stay away from the pool at least from now on until I army. Apart from this, I will have my heart screened by this week. Hopefully, everything is well. Lastly, I learned that my parents advise had indeed be true especially the part when they told me to stay alert and to take good care of myself about a week before and after my Birthday!

New composition

2009-07-03T01:06:00.002+08:00

After my 20th Birthday, I really have nothing much to do other than finalizing my customers' orders and answering their inquiries for my Business. Thus, as a result of this, I always spent my time training once again for my National Service.

Apart from this, I am also in the mist of making a composition of a new song which I have not yet decide on the title. Thus, feel free to come back soon to find out more on the lyrics which I had composed in order to interpret the meaning behind it.

Thanks!

2009-07-03T00:56:00.004+08:00

Would like to send my deepest appreciation to all of my families and friends who had taken some of your precious time to sent me Birthday wishes across all means of communication no matter by SMS, MSN or Facebook.

Apart from this, I would also like to thank all of whom had taken a step further by troubling yourself to give me Birthday presents and gifts for me. I do seriously appreciate it a lot.

Lastly, to all of my close friends who had spent your time with me on my 20th Birthday during the outing! I do really appreciate it super a lot! Trust me, without the outing with you all - since my army is just around the corner, my day won't be as fun as it is meant to be.

Thanks to all once again =)

I survived!

2009-06-30T03:45:00.003+08:00

Well, here I am typing this very post to declare that I had finally survived the dream which I have always been having for the past 6 hellish years! Anyway, to those who do not know what I am talking about, feel free to read the post which I had typed on Wednesday, 24 June 2009, with the title - WILL I EVER HIT 20? You will know what I mean. Don't forget that the post was kinda lengthy.

Last and not least, as for today, I shall enjoy my 20th Birthday with an ease of mind with my close friends! But for sure, I will not return home exceeding 2130 hours. This is because my dad had told me he will leave his office at 1930 hours and want me back by around that time if possible, so that we can celebrate my Birthday as a family, which we always did on each one of my siblings' Birthday.

And yea. This will be my last BOYISH Birthday celebration. Because starting from next year, I will be 21 and since I will be serving in Singapore Armed Forces, I will be MAN already too! HAHAHAA XD

Thanks Ray for shopping with me!

2009-06-30T02:50:00.003+08:00

Yesterday, on the 29th of June, I intended to go shopping for my army things since my enlistment date is just around the corner. Since my cousin Ray happened to do hiscouting on some things, we decided to go together! To be honest yea - at first, I thought of buying a few army shirts and singlets only but at the end of the 7 hours outing, I ended up shopping more than I should! HAHHAAHAA.

Anyway, the trip started at about 3 in the afternoon. I waited for Ray at Woodlands and upon his arrival, we proceed to our first stop - Beach Road Army Market. There I consulted Ray's opinions on what are the things which I need to buy for army and decided to purchase 2 pieces of army shirts and singlets each. These cost me about $23 in all after getting $2 off from the aunty! LOL!

Later, we proceed to our second stop - some kind of shopping center which I never went before. It was located near Bugis and about 15-20 mins walk from Beach Road. Our intention to go there is to visit a store which is believed to be selling cool army stuffs for Regulars. We wanted to check out their cool gadgets since we have nothing to do.

Eventually, we can't detect the exact location of the store on our radar and proceed to our third stop - a food place located behind Bugis Junction. There as usual, I ordered a 'Roasted Chicken Rice' and 'Coca-Cola'. Seriously, the food taste not bad le! While eating, me and Ray chatted about our lives, about his then army lives, about fashion related, about musics and about many more! Seriously, I learn lots of new knowledge from him! :D

Right after, Ray accompanied me to Bugis Junction - our fourth stop, where we tried on new clothes from Topman and had a look at shoes from Everlast and Converse shops. Seriously! The designs are nice and some even caught my attention. HAHAHAA!

As a result of this, I suddenly have the temptation to buy a new pair of shoes. Anyway, since I seldom came by Bugis Street and after hearing much positive feedbacks of that place quite often from friends, I decided to check it out. At such, it became our fifth stop! At first I wonder to myself - Who knows I can find the same shoes which I like from Bugis Junction at Bugis Street at a much cheaper price?

Trust me! My hopes didn't went far! As soon as I saw the shoes at Bugis Street, I was totally turned off! The shoes that was being sold there was NOT NICE lar! The threads on the shoes was unevenly sewn, the curves on them was not perfect and lastly, the brand name on it are totally GG! Not wanting to offend the store sellers, we made our way out of the store and of course out of Bugis Street! =x

Last and not least, before going back home, my temptation of buying a new pair of shoes is still there so I suggest Ray whether we should try visit Old Woodlands Central Rd area to check out the shoes shop there not, since there has always been having good deals! And thus, that became our last and sixth stop for the day!

Upon reaching, we visited a store which my best friend had intro-ed me a week before. Without hesitation, I grabbed a pair of jogging shoes as I really want to get back to my running starting 1st July 2009, while Ray purchased a jacket which looks gorgeous on him! Seriously, the uncle who served me was damn nice. He is helpful and patient. I am very satisfied with his customer service offered. One day, if I know his name, I will send him an appreciation letter for sure.

That's not all! HAHAHAAA. After that, I brought Ray to a shop where there is this Everlast pair of shoes which I like upon having looked at it for the first time while going out with my best friend last week. It looks quite similar to that we saw from the Bugis Junction. So, I wanted Ray's opinion on what he thinks of it. After hearing a couple of good comments from him, I purchased the shoe as well. I feel that the purchase is a good buy, especially by a fact that I was served by a chiobu (At least I pay GST worth it lor xP) HAHAHAHHAA!

Lastly - to summarize this post, I feel that shopping with Ray is a wonderful thing since we cousins are close to one another and we always have a common topics that we we can chat, laugh and joked around without offending one another. Apart, I learn lots of knowledges from him too! Thanks Ray for following me shopping! Also, if we free again, we shall go shopping again man :)

Happiness

2009-06-27T23:43:00.007+08:00

It has been a while since I tasted the meaning of happiness right after my business was set up overseas. During these times, my life was all about making money, money and more money. Yea, it may sounds that I am money minded but please take it to reality world - What will you be if you do not have money? Are you able to even afford buying your basic needs whenever required in order to stay alive? Am I right?

Anyway, some would have known that I was away to my aunt's and uncle's house to attend the prayers for my late cousin who had just passed away. There, I watched my mum, aunties and female siblings and cousins cutting and chopping the necessary food preparation for the prayers which is to be held today on 27 June 2009. It was really fun to watch them while we guys slack doing nothing at all. HAHHAAA.

The next day, considering that I woke up quite early - at about 4 in the morning, I decided to help my aunt to do some dish washing! And yea! I HARDLY wash my plates even at my own house. HAHAHAA. After settling the dish washing, I decided to have a short nap. Shiok arh! Do work quite little than I nap till 8am! LOL!

Anyway, at about 9 in the morning, knowing that my uncle is going to my late cousin's cemetery, I decided to follow him. The reason to why I followed him is that I want to pray for my cousin a little closer. At least, praying for him at his graves is way better than praying from further away. Though, it hardly make sense, it does work in my thinking, sadly.

As soon as entering the cemetery gates for few metres, we suddenly heard a crash sound. We turned and saw a car behind us - a Hyundai Sonata had rammed into a cab. The cab driver make a lot of noise lar of course! Not wanting to care much, we continued proceeding to 3 graves, including my late cousin's where we prayed for quite a while and left.

Having done that, we headed to Gek Poh to buy some groceries which might still be needed. The best part is this. After paying for all the goods, I remember carrying quite a few number of plastic bags and walking slowly with my uncle, since it's raining heavily and considering the floor is still very wet.

Then, there came a fleet of stairs. As I was going down it, my uncle reminded me again to pay extra attention to my steps. But sadly, few seconds later, I crashed down the fleet of stairs, leg first. My slipper torn apart and my feet was in drastic pain for few moments. Feeling like a man and controlling the macho, I picked myself up and walked barefoot across the streets towards his home. HAHA!

After that, few hours before the prayers commence, one of my aunty remembered that my Birthday is just around the corner. She announced to all my relatives le and thus, they sang for me an advance Birthday wish! Thanks all! I do realy appreciate it! :)

Lastly, even though my this post might sound boring, at least for me, the aspect of be being able to socialize, talk and learn more knowledges and skills from my uncle, aunties, cousins and friends had made me to be very happy. For sure, my stay there had been worth all my time indeed as the happiness which I gain at every seconds are priceless and can't be bought using money!

Will I ever hit 20?

2009-06-24T19:43:00.002+08:00

Those who have added me in MSN would have realized that my private nickname was written as 'Will I ever hit 20?' I am very sure that some of you have asked me and some might have been wondering what I meant by that. And yea! That is exactly what I am going to explain here.

During my secondary school years, I have always been having this dream, in fact - the very same dream that states that I will die in a most horrific road accident when I am 20. Ironically, the dream have stopped quite a while until recently. Maybe this is due to the fact that my 20th birthday is just around the corner.

Anyway, I believe that some of you would feel what is so big deal of my dream isn't it? After all a dream is just a dream but yea, try to think of it. Would not you feel scared if you have a same dream for few weeks consecutively, whenever you are asleep? How would you react to it? Would you try to stop thinking about it and pray that it would not at all be true? or Would you try lying to yourself and not caring at all on what does this dream actually means?

As for my part, I will take this dream as form of message which is meant to conveyed to me - even though I do not know what messages are there behind this dream. Though I am not ready to die at such a young age just yet, I would still prefer to stay optimistic and believes that there is at least a form of message for me, apart from death itself.

Despite all this, if my dream which I have always been having meant that I were fated to leave this earth anytime soon, I would like to say this to all my families, friends, relatives. Thanks to all of you for always being there all along. And if, I have commit any wrong to you in the past, please forgive me.

In contrast, if this dream represent something else apart from my death, I will take it as a second chance which is being given to me by god. At such, I promise that I will pledge to be a much better person by taking the past as another learning journey in my life. Take care all :)

Saturday's routine

2009-06-24T19:18:00.003+08:00

Last Saturday, after about 2-3 weeks of me not going swimming, I finally get back to my routine - with my swimming partner Nelson, an Air Force personnel. On that day, I only did about 6 laps instead of the usual 16 laps in the pool while Nelson did 8 laps instead of the usual 16 laps too.

The reason to why we both did not perform as well as before is as follows. Nelson just returned from Air Force training in Brunei and thus he has not had much time to recover from his tiredness. As for my part, the reason to why I did not perform well is all due to my deteriorating health which I have been experiencing right after my favourite cousin passed away last few weeks. Despite this, I will try to stay strong and to strive on :)

Anyway, about an hour an a half after we swam, we decided to have our dinner at Banquet. To be honest, I was the one to suggest us to go there since I have not been eating my favourite food namely 'Golden Chicken' from there - for the past 2 weeks. To my delightful, I realize there is a slight change in the store which I never failed to buy from every week.

I could easily spot the change in structure of the store, the type of cashiering system which is being used, the "NEW" sets of meals which are being offered and of course, the staff of the food in the store. I was so happy. In my heart I says, "Yeay! At last after 2 weeks I can eat the Golden Chicken"

Right away, I approach the staff and placed my order. To my disappointment, she said that the food is no longer available. In fact, my favorite food store has extinct as well. I was really astonished. I really did not expect that the 2 weeks of me not visiting the store would result the store to close down.

Thus, I tried to stay cheerful as usual and ordered 'Black Pepper Chicken' from the Western store. And yea, Trust me! That will be the last time I will order the meal from there! For me, the chicken is nice but the sauce they use really sucks BIG TIME! I rather spent my hard-earned money on the food from Swenses instead!

Anyway, will update my blog whenever I'm free again. Till then :)

Something's not right

2009-06-16T00:52:00.004+08:00

Since few hours ago, I've been having this awkward feeling deep inside my heart that there's something isn't right is going to happen but I just couldn't possibly figure out what will it be.

I really hope that this isn't something bad of course! Anyway, will update you all of any news if there is any - with regards to this awkward feeling. Take care all! Goodnight. Hope to hear from you soon if there is a chance :)

Coming back to senses

2009-06-15T19:07:00.002+08:00

The most toughest week among all my life has passed ever since my favourite cousin, Allahyarham Muhammad Yassier Eyzhaq Bin Mohd Abdul Ghar passed away, a week ago on 8 June 2009. For the past 7 days, I have been trying very hard to come back to my senses and I have been forcing myself to accept the fact that he (my favourite cousin) will no longer be here for me anymore.

The only reason which I can accept to believe that this has to happen is that our god, Allah s.w.t. - love him more and thus, he is fated to leave this cruel earth for eternity, much earlier than all of us had expected. Despite this, I will still miss him very much and will always remember his motivational support and kindness which he had given to me all along. Thanks a lot again brother for all the good deeds which you had done while alive. May Allah s.w.t. bless you to the fullest and may you be sent to heaven for eternity.

Lastly, I would also like to thank a million thanks to all of my friends, business partners, customers and to whoever who had sent their condolences to our families, for giving me the consistent support while I was feeling down within the one week. Without all of your efforts to boost my moral up once again, I won't feel as happier as I am now.

I do really appreciate it.

Will always remember you Abang

2009-06-11T17:46:00.008+08:00

3 days ago - at about 0530 plus, everyone of you who had happened to read my blog or saw my MSN nickname, would have known that my favourite cousin had passed away. He's only 24 years old and he passed away unexpectedly. Till now, I can't accept that he had left us.

Anyway, the last time when I visited him at his house was on 22 April 2009, a week after I graduated with a Diploma from Polytechnic. Back then, I shared the joys with him and his family on successfully graduated with a Diploma without having a need to retain, in any of the 3 years of my Polytechnic life. At that point of time I still remember the facial expression which he had while looking at my results and Diploma certificate.

He was very happy and proud of my achievements. Later, while we were in the kitchen, he told me these exact words, "Hafiez, if you can continue study, please go and study. Don't stop halfway". Hearing that, I nodded and smiled. Two weeks later (about a month before he passed away), he came to my house after intending to visit my parents for quite a while. There he seemed like acting normally. He joked, smile and chatted like usual and even played with my punching bag with me. Seriously, nothing seemed wrong.

Then came the big day which marked the end of his life. He was pronounced dead on 8 June 2009 at about 0530 hours. Seriously, its the most unexpected news which I ever had and I cried non-stop after that. I felt very hopeless and my heart broke into a million pieces upon hearing the news.

This is because he, Muhammad Yassier Eyzhaq Bin Mohd Abdul Ghar, had always been there for me since I was sent out of my house by my dad in 2004. For an instance, upon being sent out of my house back then, I stayed at my ex-girlfriend for few days. At times, I will sleep in the streets, sleeping in the cold wind and rain as well. Feeling sympathy, he called me and asked to heed to his house my cab. Even though the time was clocking 2 in the morning then, and he need to book in to his camp the next day, he waited for me patiently, carried my bags upstairs and even made me food and drinks before telling me to call it a night.

The next day, he will fetch me to school and gave me additional pocket money to spend on my daily needs. Then, upon returning home, he will show his concern by asking me how has my day been, how has my lessons been, have I completed my homework or not and so on. He never stop caring for me. Not to forget, he always makes me smile and encourage me to stay strong despite my hardships which I had gone through back then. This cycle goes on and on for about 6 months of my stay there.

Apart from this, whenever I see him, he will treat me the same way like before - or if not much better then usual. Seriously, I owed him alot. I will never ever be able to pay his kind deeds to him especially since he has already gone now.

Lastly, for those who read this post on whom are muslims, PLEASE - I beg you to offer a very short prayer for my cousin (Allahyarham Muhammad Yassier Eyzhaq Bin Mohd Abdul Ghar) and his soul so that he would be in the heaven for Eternity. Al-Fateha.

Favourite cousin passed away

2009-06-08T05:42:00.002+08:00

Just received the news that my favourite eldest cousin just passed away just now.. I find it hard to believe and now I can't seem to be able to stop crying.. Anyway, I will not be online for few days.. Anything just sms me..

Something new

2009-06-08T01:50:00.004+08:00

To start with, my current weekend had been the most fruitful times which I had ever in my life. It's not due to the reason that I had another wonderful and enjoyable weekends of going out with friends or families but it's much more than that!

Basically, on Friday night when I could not sleep, I spent my time reading through few articles on how to edit an oscommerce site. I did that out of curiosity and most of us would have known, I have ZERO knowledge on IT related things! Apart from this, since I had paid quite a sum of money to my developers for the past few years - just to create, maintain and update few of my websites at any one point of time, I decided to try it myself and put the information which I had read to a practical test.

So, the first thing which I did was to get myself an FTP client. Basically the function of this File Transfer Protocol is to transfer files between computers on network such as Internet. In other words, you can use FTP to exchange files between computer accounts, to transfer files between an account and a desktop computer or to software archives on the Internet.

Anyway, I got myself two FTP clients to start my mission rolling. They are SmartFTP and FileZilla respectively. As soon as that is done, the test drive begins! I tried fiddling the FTP on my oscommerce site and following my instinct on how to use it without having much difficulties. Soon enough, I tried to read more information on how to edit some of the features from the oscommerce community forum and trusting each and every one of their points and recommendations, it proved to be worthwhile.

Hours after hours, I tried and soon, without me realizing, my oscommerce had lots of difference! By now, it had been heavily modified! To be honest, I myself could not believe that I am the one who modified it! Fair enough, now I understand what my parents usually told me are true - "New knowledges and skills are necessary. It will benefit you greatly and that's only IF you are willing to learn them"

For my case, the benefits which I will experience are not only the knowledge of using FTP and getting new skills to edit HTML, PHP and CSS languages but I will also be able to SAVE A HUGE SUM of MONEY in the future! Anyway, if you are wondering on how much money I will save, here are the costs breakdown.

#1. My Oscommerce site - Heavily modified site with my own detailed preferences and features in the website. For this aspect, developer will easily charge at least SGD $3, 200 for EACH SITE as normal market rate! Apart from this, I have heard from one of my friends who owned an IT company, he have charged a customer up to SGD $15, 000 before! Nevertheless, the developer whom I happened to know quote me about SGD $1, 600 only for each sites. It's quite cheap right? Despite this, I am unsure whether what they quote me can wrap up everything which I want, especially by the fact that I am those "Mah Fun" people when it comes to terms with my businss related activities.

Anyway, since I will be opening another 2 sites in weeks or months to come, this means that I will have 3 oscommerce sites. Thus, assuming that I have not learn this new knowledges and skills, and I decided to consult the latter pricing packages, it would easily cost me at least SGD $4, 800!

#2. My personal websites - For this website, my good friend Stanley have been helping me and doing my website since I was in Polytechnic Year 2. I owed him a lot as a result. This is because he never asked me for money for his work and time. He even told me that he wanted to do my website for free and yea! He kept his words and never asked me for a single cent!. Kudos to Stanley! God bless you always mate =)

Thus, as you all can see, the minimum savings which I can get for #1 is at least about $2, 500 if I pay myself SGD $700 for the two new oscommerce sites which I am planning to open in weeks to come. In contrast, for #2, I will be able not to disturb Stanley so much, especially when I need to make sudden and urgent amendments to my website! LOL!

Lastly, to those who wished to start an online website business, feel free to contact me. Even though I am new to developing my own oscommerce site, I am not new in business aspects. Thus, I am quite sure I am able to give a few tips and pointers to you too. Feel free to spam me if I am not busy :)

Traumatizing week

2009-06-05T22:56:00.004+08:00

Today, I really felt like crying - just that I have no shoulder to cry on. This is what people normally describes life as a single loner and loser like me is all about.

Anyway, yea! My day had been pretty bad lately. For the past few days, I've only managed to sleep about 4-6 hours on every 2 days. So you can imagine how much time I have spent myself in such state. After all, it's not that I don't want to sleep but despite the nature of being completely worn off, both physically and mentally for the whole week, I just possibly could not sleep!

Ever since me and my cousins visited a "park" located on top of a deserted hill last Friday, I sensed that something quite freaky has been going on within myself. Since then, I have been seeing "things" around, been hearing "things" as well. and HELL NO! I am not hallucinating!

To add this matter to become worst, I woke up in a drench earlier in the morning. In my dream, I was persistently being chased by a ghost who loves to jump about - if you know which one I am referring to. Seriously, the dream was so horrible and only god knows how fearful I am - even up till now.

Lastly, I really hope that everything will be better in the days to come and hopefully, I wouldn't be haunt anymore. This really makes me traumatized indeed!

God bless and cheers!

Busy day ahead!

2009-06-04T03:47:00.007+08:00

Today will be the most busiest day for me!

I need to settle quite a lot of things for my clients' business. Some of the tasks are as follows:

1) Change all product pricing for them. Not few BUT many!
2) Email their customers of the new price changes.
3) Scouting potential markets for my clients.
4) Advertise clients' website!

WISH ME GOOD LUCK! :)

A good ending

2009-06-03T01:48:00.006+08:00

Once again, I find it hard to sleep after tossing around in bed for few hours. I do not know why even though my eyes and body were very tired! Thus, at about 0300 hours, I found myself sitting in front on my laptop replying to all orders and inquiries from customers. It took me a few hours before finding myself free once again.

Suddenly, something came across my mind. The thought of me not blogging for quite a while made me want to start blogging again - since my own personal website is currently under development. Right away, I went to 'blogskins.com' and selected the skin for my blog in accordance to my mood. Once that is done, I editted quite a bit of things here and there using my shallow knowledge on HTML and this is what I get! =)